Took it right out of my mouth, Coffy!!! A lot of the advice which I've seen online on how to be a "proper" woman is deeply rooted in the male view of womanhood, which is ultimately to the benefit of males (of course). I see no reason in giving a male the power to dictate what makes me a woman, whether he uses religion or another woman to do so.
As with all things womanly, the answer is complex and difficult. It's up to each of us to forge our own paths.
I also hate how the ''advice'' is always to tell women to be more quiet, reserved, shy, because those qualities are considered ''feminine''. I'm someone who is very bold, unabashed and doesn't get shy very easily, why should I change my personality and some very great qualities (assertiveness, boldness, courage) just so I can be more appealing to men? Why can't a man like those exact things about me, the same way that I do?
They make you believe that the only way that you will ever find love is to change your being and start acting and being someone who you are not, which is so so damaging, and for what? so some guy gets to not have this fragile masculinity threatened?
I wish there were more blogs like this around where its told like it is and helps women realize that the goal in life is not to find a man while undermining yourself and making yourself miserable in the long run. I was young and naive and I fell for all those ''classy'' channels and hated myself during it because I felt like I had to conform to some very rigid standards otherwise I will ''die alone'', I'm so glad I woke up to the truth.
This gave me goosebumps, I've been thinking and feeling like this for such a long time and you just hit the nail on the head with every single point. This is the very first blog I've ever read that actually made sense to ME, I felt as if you're reading and articulating my thoughts and its so validating to see all of this stuff written into words, and to know there are other people out there who feel the same way. Thank you Coffy.
you're still promoting gender essentialism. There is no such thing as "masculine "feminine". Those are concepts invented by patriarchy ie: our oppressors to box us and keep us away from power.
Instead of redfining femininity, women should just reject it all together. Just like they should divest from the system instead of finding new ways to "navigate" the system.
Took it right out of my mouth, Coffy!!! A lot of the advice which I've seen online on how to be a "proper" woman is deeply rooted in the male view of womanhood, which is ultimately to the benefit of males (of course). I see no reason in giving a male the power to dictate what makes me a woman, whether he uses religion or another woman to do so.
As with all things womanly, the answer is complex and difficult. It's up to each of us to forge our own paths.
Exactly!
I also hate how the ''advice'' is always to tell women to be more quiet, reserved, shy, because those qualities are considered ''feminine''. I'm someone who is very bold, unabashed and doesn't get shy very easily, why should I change my personality and some very great qualities (assertiveness, boldness, courage) just so I can be more appealing to men? Why can't a man like those exact things about me, the same way that I do?
They make you believe that the only way that you will ever find love is to change your being and start acting and being someone who you are not, which is so so damaging, and for what? so some guy gets to not have this fragile masculinity threatened?
I wish there were more blogs like this around where its told like it is and helps women realize that the goal in life is not to find a man while undermining yourself and making yourself miserable in the long run. I was young and naive and I fell for all those ''classy'' channels and hated myself during it because I felt like I had to conform to some very rigid standards otherwise I will ''die alone'', I'm so glad I woke up to the truth.
This gave me goosebumps, I've been thinking and feeling like this for such a long time and you just hit the nail on the head with every single point. This is the very first blog I've ever read that actually made sense to ME, I felt as if you're reading and articulating my thoughts and its so validating to see all of this stuff written into words, and to know there are other people out there who feel the same way. Thank you Coffy.
you're still promoting gender essentialism. There is no such thing as "masculine "feminine". Those are concepts invented by patriarchy ie: our oppressors to box us and keep us away from power.
Instead of redfining femininity, women should just reject it all together. Just like they should divest from the system instead of finding new ways to "navigate" the system.
How do you reject it all together, and what do you build in its stead?