Thank you to everyone who reached out and donated concerning my dad. I am very grateful. It still sucks tho. My dad has a disease that I could not wish on anyone. It feels weird trying to be sane when the situation is mad. Like my dad literally has cancer. My worst nightmare is happening and I am meant to act like everything is okay?
It is not. My dad has cancer.
Anyway, let’s Make Deadbeat Moms Great Again.
In the news recently, it was announced that Joe Jonas divorced Sophie Turner for wanting to party and let loose while he was stouck with the misfortune of raising his own kids. Then there's the story of a pathetic man who thought he could force the woman he abandoned to raise their kid. He then ran to the internet hoping for some support, only to be ridiculed. Finally, you have a conservative commentator, Matt Walsh, shaming a woman for stating how motherhood made her lose agency over her body in a way that was similar to how men treated her.
Of course, the scapegoat for this is feminism.
I think this woman best articulates how a lot of women feel but are too ashamed to voice out loud.
The problem is that men do not have a glimpse into the immensely rewarding and god-like, yet painful and sacrificial circumstance that is motherhood. Men have a far greater capacity to compartmentalize their feelings than we do. I would consistently hear black women talk about how whenever they see a black man being killed by the police, they think of their sons, their fathers, their brothers. I have never heard of a black man who saw a black woman experience violence and thought of his sister.
However, the role of a mother is elevated to a protected class. She was the first woman to cater to his needs after all. Yet, irrespective of how protected the mother class is, I would wager that most men can barely answer what their mother’s favorite color is. Their mother exists insofar as she represents the Virgin Mary, the vessel that carried him, a great man, into existence.
P.S. It is also interesting how Mary is the gold standard for mothers. Yet, we never ask men to be like Joseph, a man who welcomed the responsibility of raising a child that he did not help conceive.
This divine mother cannot be a whore. And when she is, she becomes everything wrong with womankind. She doesn't even need to actually be a whore; she just needs not to be the selfless and sacrificial mother. This is why men have such a visceral reaction to women having an abortion. Even the staunchest pro-life women would be confronted with the reality of pregnancy if they were to carry a child to term. Even if she made the “right” choice to carry that child to term, she would be forced to understand why women would choose otherwise. There's no hiding the irreparable changes that come with pregnancy and motherhood. However, men always get to view pregnancy as a purely theoretical sacrifice for the advancement of humanity.
I am writing this because there is a social expectation that women set the morality of society, and if, for a moment, we don't, we are held accountable for the poor choices of men around us. The mother is then seen as the most sacred of those responsibilities.
We need to set a lower bar for mother and tell men to be more like Joseph: RAISE YOUR DAMN KIDS.
If you have enjoyed this, I have more Coffy for you!
I am so heartbroken to hear about your dad. As someone without a strong father figure in my life, I can only imagine how he must have guided you to become the intelligent woman you are today. Keeping you in my thoughts