Fuck being a Trad Wife, Become a Domestic Goddess instead (Also, should I sleep with him?)
After going to a million illegal streaming websites, I have watched the Martha Stewart, and Nigella Lawson documentaries. This is what I have learned.
For women called to the domestic sphere, there is a shortage of actual role models. Behind the thin veil that is the modern Trad wife movement, you have wealthy businesswomen masquerading as barefoot and pregnant stay-at-home moms. These women are selling domestic pornography to men and unrealistic expectations to women.
In the past, we had women who redefined domesticity for their previous generation. Those women were Nigella Lawson and Martha Stewart. They showed women how to take full control of their kitchens and by extension their homes and their entire lives. These women never hid the fact that they were highly educated and wealthy businesswomen (a secret that modern Trad wives are unwilling to own up to). However, they made the home a source of not just meaning but immense wealth and notoriety. These are what we can learn from their lives.
1. Do not let anyone see you sweat
Whether it was after Martha’s painful divorce or Nigella’s husband dying, these women always knew to keep a brave face in front of the camera. They understood that people wanted to see them fail, and were unwilling to give them that pleasure. They got up and did the difficult things, especially when it would have been easier to cower.
There is a psychosis that has spread amongst young women encouraging them to be vulnerable on the internet (please don’t do this, it is retarded). Maybe if you fawn, people will help you. That is far from true. The world is a cruel place and will eat you up if you let it. In private, allow yourself to experience your full breadth of emotions. In public, put up your bravest front. Do not let anyone see you broken or defeated.
2. Do what you love, until you get paid for it.
Another good example of this is Joe Rogan. This man did his podcast for 10 years before it blew up. He also commentated for UFC when it was struggling and did so in the early years before it became a big thing.
To win in any game, you have to be in it long enough. Nigella was a food column writer and critic before writing her best-selling cookbook. Martha Stewart has a catering business where she honed her skills to write her first cookbook.
Coffy drops: What can you start and be willing to work on for the next ten years?
3. Remain Polarizing
Give your haters something to talk about.
Say the controversial things!
Occupy the space that makes you difficult to pin down. Martha Stewart: the queen of domesticity whose personal life was falling apart and somehow went to prison for insider trading. Nigella Lawson: An upper-middle-class daughter to a political heavyweight who was making simple meals for the everyday woman.
We love people whom we cannot fully understand. Simple people are boring. Don’t be boring.
4. Micro-manage everything!
Martha had a clear image of what she wanted, and she made it happen. Compromise is the beginning of failure. You should be flexible in your process but dogged in your destination. Martha was known to be meticulous, and unforgiving in her vision. Everything had to be perfect, and she was going to make sure of it.
5. Own your name, your copyright, and your business.
You are the brand.
You are a multifaceted, complex being that embodies your greatest potential.
You are not just what you do for a living. You are also your tastes, opinions, ideas, and dreams. So make something in your name. Build that brand so compelling that it can only be explained by your name.
Nigella and Martha both knew that they were not just selling recipes, they were selling the embodiment of their highest potential. Martha was selling a Goddess who reigned over the domestic realm with surgeon-like precision and dictator-like control. Nigella sold a food lover who enjoyed all aspects of life like she enjoyed her food.
6. Ask for more money!!!!
When Martha was initially pitched her position to work with K-Mart, she was offered $50,000 and royalties. She rejected the offer and instead requested to be paid 4X that. They agreed to pay her $200,000 instead and royalties. How many of you have the chutzpah to ask for 4 times your salary offer?
Best,
Coffy.
Coffy after dark
I want to know what you all think that I should do?
I am loving your recent content lately. It's like a breath of fresh air and I can tell you've been going through a lot of personal growth and introspection. Keep it up!