Finding The Love Of My Life

Don't worry, it is not what you think.

Oct 15, 2023

Hello ladies! I hope that you are having a wonderful weekend! Let’s talk about finding the love of your life.

Let’s talk about women who hate men, but still date them and how we can plan a life dealing with those women.

A friend of mine would drop me for a man in an instant because she is the kind of woman who loves romance and love. She is not a pick-me in the conventional sense, but she loves the thrill of romance. Even though we have had a million conversations about how marriage as a contract is ridiculous and all that, she loves male attention and there is nothing that I can do about it. I repeat she is not the conventional pick-me, but romance is such an important thing in her life.

This is the dilemma that heterosexual women who remain choicefully single have to face: a far majority of women will prioritize male attention, even if they scream to the world that they hate men. I am under no illusion of the impact of romantic love. I heard in a podcast recently, that most people have 5 close relationships and romantic relations occupy two of those positions. I know that all people want love but women crave love far more than men do. I am under no illusions that if I were drowning and my friends had to choose between me or their spouses, most of them would choose their spouses. A lot of them would even choose their imaginary-spouses-to-be over me. And they would feel truly justified in doing so.

I describe myself unapologetically as a Samantha. I haven’t dated in 5 years and do not plan or want to marry. I have a plan for my life and I hope that plan stays that way. However, if I were ever to date, I would always say: I love you, but I love me more.
However, none of these reasons are compelling enough for me to be in a relationship or seek one. Let me elaborate a little more on why I never dated.

Men have never been a good company in my life. They have only ever made my life worse.
I have a clear vision of how I want my life to go and do not want to compromise. I am meant to do some remarkable work in the world. I can feel this deeply in my bones. I do not want to always have to consider someone else when I am meant to be moving my life in the right direction.
I do not want to birth kids. I have an issue with bodily autonomy and don’t have the patience to be pregnant. I also think that I would hate a kid for messing up with my body.
Life is hard. I am under no illusion of the barbarians at the gate and the pestilence that awaits all of us. However, I have good ways of coping and managing myself. I know my crazy. I understand the world is crazy. I can deal with those two crazies. However, I do not want to deal with another person crazy. Especially, not a man.
I am the love of my life and my greatest love story. I hate that I have to preface this. I don’t say this in “some girl boss, I don’t need a man kinda of way”. I say this in a “the person that I am trying to find in life is myself. I am my prince in shining armor.” There will come a day when I wake in my luxurious apartment, with my pets and remarkable work, and cry because I created the life of my dreams. I can't wait for that day to come!

So, what are we to do? We are going to find new loves in our lives. There are multiple loves in our lives, and this is my attempt to engineer love in my life from different sources:

Parental love

Let’s talk about being there for your parents. Some people have terrible parents. Don’t get me wrong. Some of you should run away from your parents as soon as possible.

Dealing with my father’s cancer and realizing that my greatest responsibility is to make sure that my parents have a great remainder of their lives. I hate waking up and not seeing my parents. I am currently living with them, and they are the first people I see every morning. I love it and I am going to embrace this season of my life.

Unfortunately, I know that one day will come when my parents are no longer here. But till then, I will enjoy living with my parents, while they are still at the best of their health. I am only going to get busier, and my parents are only going to get older.

I hope that I become wealthy enough to have kids before my parents have to leave this planet. But I love these two and I am going to invest heavily in this relationship.

Child love

I know that some of you do not want children. However, I cannot wait to have my three wonderful daughters.

I am going to be an exemplary mom.

I will have a lot of resources and make sure that they have a great life. I will be kind, patient, and generous to them. I can’t wait to have an abundance in life so that I can share it with them. I know that if I do my job right, one day the kids will wake up and leave me. They will have their own robust lives, and call to adventure. And as a good mom, I have to support them in that journey.

But just as I am taking care of my parents, they will take such good care of me. I would have laid such. the foundation of love in their lives that they would be so happy to reciprocate.

Friend love

Even though my friends are still searching for their “ones”, I am still very optimistic about friendships.

I have not met all the people that will love me yet and I cannot wait to make new friends. I know that a lot of adults struggle in the friendship department, but I am not one of them. I will make new and more friends.

I have a very strong suspicion that I will make friends who take our friendship seriously. The problem, unfortunately, is that I fear my friends will always prioritize their significant other.

Work love

This is my favorite type of love. I love the work that I do!

I am deeply grateful for the work that I do and I know that I am an outlier in this situation. I know a lot of people deeply detest their work and hate that they have to continue doing it to pay bills.

However, I enjoy the cognitive thrill and power that knowledge has given me. I enjoy solving problems creatively and bringing new ideas into the world. I enjoy connecting the dots between disparate fields and making new ideas. I enjoy work and the work that I do. This kind of love is tricky because you can love your work and your work cannot love you back. It is also that you can fall out of love with something that you love so much.

Hobby love

I don’t have too many hobbies, since I have had to move a lot. But I cannot wait to have as many hobbies as possible!

I want to start surfing and doing ceramics. I want to have friend dinners where we all cook together! I also want to start a brand, but I still don’t know what. I want to enjoy my life

Location love

I will have a home and passport to live in every city that I love!

When you watch Sex and the City, you know that New York City is another character in the show. I want to live in a location where I love and feed my energy. The problem is that this kind of love might not love you back. You might love your city, and your city goes to shit.

Religious love

I know that all the Abrahamic religions might not like women, especially the revision that should not be named.

However, I have a deep relationship with my maker. I know my God is a woman. I don’t see a man and see my maker. God makes me good. God is kind to me and empowers me to go into the world.

Honestly, I think this is the most consistent type of love.

Pet Love

Pets can be the best. I cannot wait to have as many pets as possible. Like, I am a crazy cat, plant, and dog lady. I cannot wait to have as many pets running around my house.

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