Being a highly ambitious woman means living a life full of contradictions. You trust in your capabilities. You know your strength and weaknesses. You are radically aware that the world is your oyster, and you are ready to take full advantage of it. However, unless you are fortunate to be surrounded by similarly like-minded women, you will discover that you are often the only woman in your immediate surroundings with this mindset. Highly ambitious men exist in a culture that ensures a partner is groomed to be subordinate to them, and be grateful for that position. Any woman should be thankful that she has a partner trying to dominate his field. Women have an emotional dexterity that makes them attuned to the needs of their partners. She should not only be appreciative of his ambitions but also actively support his goals. However, this pattern is absent when the sexes are reversed
Highly ambitious women are a threat because they defy the status quo by actively seeking power. Such a woman is presented as vindictive and conniving. What kind of man would partner with such a woman? The best she should expect is a man that overlooks her ambitions.
I bring up romantic relationships because ambition inherently brings with it isolation. You can no longer attend the events of friends because you need to work extra hours. You no longer have the same monetary and financial constraints as your friends because you might be in a different tax bracket. At every point, an ambitious woman is reminded that she is the abnormality and must contort herself to be more palatable. She must remind people that she is a mother, girlfriend, or wife. She is still performing her duty. We see this when we demand that our favorite YouTube star remain “relatable”. Rarely is relatability expected from male YouTubers. Instead, the success of other men is a reminder of where that man assumes that he belongs.
I do not remember when I realized I had big ambitions. However, from an early age, I knew that a small life was not for me. I knew that my life had meaning, bigger than what I could articulate or imagine. I knew that God made me wonderfully and uniquely. I knew, just like I know the sky was blue, that I was here to move things forward. A simple life was never in the cards for me.
However, So much of my agency and ambition was attacked when I was young. I used to think that my culture did not know what to do with girls like me. Girls with an unrelenting zest for life. However, I soon realized that all girls come out this way but were beaten in becoming people-pleasers and upholders of the patriarchy. My culture knew precisely what to do with ambitious girls. It would defeat, break, and abuse them. However, my culture did not know what to do with girls armed with an unconquerable spirit.
When I was writing this essay, I asked myself what the whole thesis of this was. Why am I writing this after spending my weekend working? Because my ambition is part of who I am. I am at my best when I am building and nurturing my fullest life into fruition. The times when I contorted myself to be more appealing to men, I became someone else. Someone who could not compare to the woman that I am today.
At my core, I am a conqueress. On this earth, I am deeply devoted to finding the actual limit of my capabilities. I refuse to live a life within any self-imposed boundaries or limitations justified by others. I want to discover my actual limits. WHO I WOULD BE IF I GAVE THE WORLD MY BEST SELF? WHO IS MY GREATEST SELF? I am on a quest to find her.
One of my patron saints is Joan Of Arc. A peasant farm girl who helped turn the tide of the 1000 year war because of her deep self-conviction. She knew her truth. In due time, everyone else would come to know that truth. I remind myself to pursue my convictions with such vigor.
I started this newsletter to find highly ambitious women on the internet. I stopped writing for some months because I had gastrointestinal issues. However, I am back and bigger than ever. I am creating a space where we can be of consort to each other and remind ourselves of who we are, conqueresses.
I hope that the women who join this community know that they have more strength than they could ever possibly imagine. We are here to lives that our grandmother could not have dreamed of.
Found another ambitious sister. Your writing is great and I've discovered you right as I stepped back into my power and back into my workflow. The timing couldn't be better. Keep up the great work.
"We are here to lives that our grandmother could not have dreamed of." - Ain't that the truth.